Why I don't celebrate my birthday

Let me tell you a story about why I used to hate my birthday.

For the past 27 years, every month of May, I feel burdened; Burdened by the idea that my birthday is coming. Generally, people love celebrating birthdays as it only comes once a year. It is the day they would feel the most important, blessed, and loved. However for me, it serves as a reminder that for the longest time, I didn't want to be alive, but still am. Another year has passed, of me living a meaningless and miserable life.

I suffered from depression.

I hated the fact that people were only nice to me 1 out of the 365 days that they could have. The only day that people who disliked me suddenly become my friends. 

My newer circle would always wonder why I would disappear on my birthday. They couldn't reach me, personally and electronically, consistently during my birthday. They would always wonder where I go, as I always give the excuse that I will be out of town. There have been numerous attempts for a surprise party, but I would always ditch them every time I suspect a plan. And so I never celebrate. I just tuck myself away in my bed, no internet, no reception, just me and some melancholic music.

However, the past couple of years have been different. I slowly learned to love myself; to appreciate life and share my blessings to people that actually matter. I learned to let go all of the bitterness of the past. My birthday has now become a reminder that I am still alive despite all hardships. I am still here standing strong; another year of wisdom that should be celebrated.

Now, I have people who genuinely care and show appreciation for me, not only my birthday, but also the throughout the year! Friends who actually show concern for me, and wants the best for me. Thank you so much for making me feel so loved on my birthday. I am alive, once again. I felt like I was reborn, and the next coming birthdays are only going to get better! :)